Hi, my name is Kathleen. I actually have two questions:
1. I think I want kids in the future. In the past, I’ve always envisioned my life with a lot of children. I am in a serious relationship and I have been thinking about my future. Lately, I’ve realized, every mom I know seems to be miserable. They get little sleep, never shower, their life seems so unpleasant. Everyone keeps telling me that when I have kids I’ll understand. I don’t want to wait until I have kids, I want to know it will be ok. I also am told, “You won’t mind the hardships when their your own kids.” Is there anything you can tell me objectively you find enjoyable and rewarding in regards to your children, anything you would find appealing if they were not your own kids?
I am not sure if objective can be applied to this question. I believe the definition of objective, as I’ve memorized as a child is: to not be influenced by personal feelings. My feelings towards my children are unrivaled by anything else. I know that my family has given me joy that I have never experienced prior to their existence. I also know that I have hand countless un-showered days and sleepless nights. My body has been transformed in a way I wish it hadn’t and everything is more difficult, even getting to my car.
That said, I get to witness the joys and enthusiasm of the world all over again. Watching them go through all their firsts, probably has a larger impact of me, than them. I am invigorated, its been amazing to experience their first time at the pumpkin patch, pool, even watching a documentary on animals rocks their world. This is a topic I could continue to write about, but watching the world through their eyes has been the best experience in my life.
2. When will my maternal instinct kick in? When did it happen for you?
I think for every woman, their biological clock starts to tick at different times in their life, some women never. For me, I knew I wanted a child when I met my husband. I had never thought about having a child before him, and if I never met him, I could have potentially been content without children. When I met my spouse, I suddenly felt everything made sense. To share your life with someone, whether it be solely with your spouse or with the addition of children made life richer and better and worth living.
I am not the authority on any topic asked in this forum. For questions that may have medical implications, please consult your doctor or midwife. The purpose of this section of the site is to provide support, help, or a sounding board for individuals. Whether a person is going through struggles, would like to know they’re not alone, or find out which bottle worked best for my children, I will do my best to answer. There are going to be many ways to reply to all questions posted. I am merely providing my perspective. This forum is not meant for debate.