The death of a brother and the cruelty of our world.



My brother died of cancer over a year ago. I think of him daily. I cry often for his widow and my father bound to a future without their love, and the fate of the present, part of their soul displaced from their being. It’s essential for me to refrain from reflecting on our lives together, or the thought of him… it’s too painful. The agony manifested is out of love, not torment. We had an odd relationship, I suppose. I didn’t realize how “different” until shortly before his passing.

Both my father and my brother lived a life unbeknownst to me. Without my knowledge, my brother had a marriage(s), children and grandchildren… the list is long and perplexing. There was never a mention of any of it. By the previous statement you may think us estranged. We weren’t. He lived with my Father and I throughout my teenage years, all the while having a parallel life without me in it. I always knew he was a bit flighty. He had many struggles, but never thought it was anything more than that.

Love blinds us. It can be magical, cruel, mysterious and taxing. Joy and pain can be dismantling, yet, in mere seconds can circle around to revive us again. I am one that loves hard, wants to aid others, and will do my best to help impact the world positively. While thinking of our society and its cruelty I often wonder why we all can’t love each other like an “estranged” relative. Why there is such bullying, and hatred.

While out at breakfast yesterday, I was relentlessly screamed at from a woman who’s husband held the entrance door open for me, I had my hands full with two kids. I immediately stepped out of the way, never taking their spot in line. The woman enraged that her husband would hold the door open, barked at me once more. I did’t respond to her words, just stated they should step in front of me in line, they arrived first. My children, were confused in my arms, my baby clenching my finger and crying. My children’s fear didn’t dissuade her from her tone for a second.

What I fail to understand is the world’s anger. We do not have to like everyone, think they’re beautiful, hold hands and sing Kumbaya. But why is kindness such a commodity? Why is there such fueled anger over others existing on the same planet.

All I wish for my children in their lives on this earth is that they are kind. I don’t care if they are smart, if they are successful, if they are pretty, if they follow a particular path. I tell my children daily that they are to be kind. For kindness is all that truly matters. Not only should they feel compassion and love for others, even those who are unkind to them, but they will not be doing themselves any favors if they are not. Anger and hatred disrupts one’s life and soul. Bitterness spreads like a cancer through one’s existence, spoiling the light that could exist in our lives.

Let us all be more kind. Think of our neighbor as a father, son, or loved one that you love despite the circumstances. One that you would respect and help no matter what, for we are all brothers and sisters.

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